Change A Teen Through Unconditional Acceptance

You may have heard of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. In a nutshell, if we are to ever to ascend the summit of our true potential, and live a happy and fulfilling life (self-actualization), we must first provide ourselves the basic needs of, as Maslow puts it, Esteem, Love/belonging, Safety, and Physiological.

One of our most primary needs is ACCEPTANCE. It falls into the "Love/Belonging" and "Esteem" categories.

Acceptance is never more important than during the teen and preteen years - when they are clamoring, ever so awkwardly, toward adulthood and on their way to the summit of self-actualization (their true potential).

Many of us believe the basic need of Acceptance can only be supplied by others. That it is something that comes to us, and something others must provide for us.

"BZZZZZZZZT!" Wrong! Or, in the words of Alex Trebek, "Oooooo... sorry."

One thing I stress to teens as I travel across the country is that if they spend their time expecting other people to make them happy, they'll never be happy.

The same thing is true with Acceptance.

The person who should be the most accepting of you... is you.

Why do you think teens make so many stupid decisions? Even adults for that matter?

When people are hungry for acceptance and seek after validation, they make choices that they wouldn't normally make. They believe that by acting a certain way it will help them to be noticed and accepted by the person or group they're trying to impress.

Why do you think:

kids get involved in gangs there is a bullying epidemic in schools across our nations there are as many as 850,000 teen pregnancies reported each year 20% of teens have seriously considered suicide in the last 12 months 80% of 12th graders and 51.7% of 8th graders use alcohol as their drug of choice 1.3 million students fail to graduate each year

... and on and on.

To help a teen accept themselves, they must feel unconditional acceptance from you.

Giving a teen unconditional acceptance means regardless of what they've done, who they are, what they say, or where they come from, you make them feel understood instead of judged. And that's not always easy. We're human. It's natural to pass judgment.

Don't confuse acceptance with approval.

Accepting a teenager unconditionally doesn't mean you have to accept their reasoning, the premise of what they're saying, their poor behavior or bad attitude, their disrespect, their playing the victim card, or their oft-times poor sense of judgment.

But the simple act of showing them that you accept them for who they are, as a person - their weaknesses, strengths and all - is the first step to helping them build their own self-acceptance. This will lead to their building a more positive self-esteem and self-confidence. It will open the door of a truly meaningful relationship in inspiring and influencing the life of a teen.

Understanding Kids With Bedwetting Problems

Parents have to know more about nocturnal enuresis or adult bedwetting. Simply dismissing it as a natural occurrence may work at times, but parents should also think about other possible causes that would need medical attention and treatment. Some of the cause of bedwetting among children can include stress or constipation. Children with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) may also experience wetting the bed at night. A few children may have sleeping disorders such as sleep apnea and some have problems with infections that may cause the same problem.

Although parents can let their children wear baby diapers, they have to think of other ways of helping them with the problem especially if they are more than three years old. Though it may ease the problem, children may develop negative feelings about their inability to control their bladders that they have to be treated as babies. Parents may have to bring their kids for proper diagnosis if the problem persists longer than expected. They should refrain from punishing or making comments that tend to degrade children and make them feel shame and guilt. The ill effects of this kind of experiences will have lasting effects on their development until they grow up as mature individuals.

It may not be too difficult for parents to explain to their children what really happens during their sleeping time and the reasons why they are not able to wake up when their bladder is full they need this bedwetting alarm. Parents may enlist the cooperation of their kids so that it would easier for them to wake them up during the night to go to the bathroom. It will be a little sacrifice on the part of the parents but they have to help their children lessen the problem without harming their emotional and psychological well-being. Children on the other hand, may learn that they too have a responsibility in keeping themselves dry as much as possible. They may also respond better if parents know how to deal with the problem without getting angry and without showing signs of frustrations and other negative emotions.

Parents can also employ practical means of alleviating the bedwetting problems of their kids. They can put some plastic covering on the beds before putting the top covers so that the mattress would not be soaked in urine in case children accidentally wet their beds. They can also check some alarm systems placed in the underpants that can wake up their kids in case moisture starts to build up while they are sleeping. There are still lots of things that parents can do in order to help their children to stay dry throughout the night. However, they really need to have the patience in helping their children get over their bedwetting problem.